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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

2015 Mindfulness Retreat in Garrison, NY; or Mindfulness for the Non-Hippy Part 3: 2nd Day of Silence "I'm making a break for it!"

Sun., Aug. 9 - 2nd full day of silence.

Today was a lot like yesterday, except I woke up with a tight chest and my asthma cough - great.  I thought since the doctor put me on steroids "just in case," I would be ok.  Guess not. I can't imagine what it would have been like without the steroids! I would have been doing some mindful breathing in the local ER, wherever that is.  I was able to get it under control with lots of puffs from my inhalers. Of course, then I had to deal with the steroid/albuterol high.  45 minute sits and 45 min. controlled, slow walks were especially challenging when my body was screaming, "OK, we can breathe now, so let's go RUN!" And then, there's the post-high crash, with the albuterol brain freeze headache and total exhaustion.

After lunch (salad, again), we had a break until 2:30pm and I was feeling much better, so I decided to take a walk. Not a slow walk, but a "I need to get up and walk like anything other than a turtle" walk.  So, I started by walking around to the back of the building.  Wow! It kind of has a Hogwarts feel to it.  Again, the grounds are beautiful, and I spent time taking pictures.

I followed the circle drive of the property just a short way, and saw something that made me freeze in my tracks - the main road! Cars! Civilization! I can't tell you the feeling I got - sort of like a prisoner that sees an open gate! "Oh boy!  I wonder if I walk down this road a bit if I'd run into a store, or a vending machine, or something. We don't have to be back for an hour, and I know I don't have money with me now, but if I find a store, I'm coming back after dinner!"  I pictured myself lugging bags full of chips, candy, pop, and other forms of decadence back up to my room. I wasn't sure how I'd manage with my bum arm, but I figured where there's a will, there's a way. So, I set off in search of something unhealthy to eat.  I walked about a mile down to the first intersection, and saw nothing but a golf course.  I briefly entertained the idea of crashing the clubhouse, but decided I'd better not.  I turned around and decided to go back to my room and look at where I'd gone on the map.  Turns out I was only about a half mile away from the train station and Garrison Landing, but according to every map app I have (and later from others who also tried to find civilization) there is NOTHING for miles.  I guess it serves me right.

At least tonight at dinner I got to put blueberries and grapes on my mixed greens, and I got an apple! Score!

Major revelation for the day:  Hello. My name is Carol, and I am a foodaholic.  I would kill for a nice, thick, juicy steak and anything carbonated and sweet . . . anything liquid and sweet . . . anything sweet.

Things I want when I get home:
pop (don't care what kind as long as it's loaded with caffeine, sugar, artificial colors & preservatives)
cake (made with lots of processed flour and sugar)
Magnum double caramel bars
That should do it.

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